


How NOT to act in front of your crush

by YouAreMyMoonshine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Harry Potter - Freeform, Humorous, James Potter - Freeform, M/M, Marauders era, Muggle AU, Peter Pettigrew - Freeform, The Marauders - Freeform, did I mention dumb?, dumb, remus lupin - Freeform, sirius black - Freeform, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouAreMyMoonshine/pseuds/YouAreMyMoonshine
Summary: Sirius informs his readers on how one shouldn't act in front of their crush by talking about his fuck ups.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Don't act like an idiot when meeting them for the first time

I just met the love of my life

Only problem is, he doesn't know I exist

Yet, anyways

One thing you SHOULDN'T do when catching eyesight with the person you want to spend the rest of your life is, to not look like an idiot

I sorta did something stupid and blew my chance

It all started not long ago

James, Peter and I all just recently moved into a dorm at our new collage

But apparently the limit for the room was four people, meaning we'd have an extra dorm mate

We were all excited

And we're just unpacking, settling into the dorm that we ended up forgetting that we'd have an extra guy joining us

All of a sudden someone knocks on the door

James and Peter being the assholes they are made me get the door when I'd just gotten comfortable on the couch provided

So I got up and opened the door and (drumroll please)

My heart fucking stopped.

In front of me was the most attractive guy (besides myself) that I've ever seen

And I panicked.

That was the probably the biggest gay panic I've ever had in my entire life

But what I should've done is play it cool

You see, if you're willing to ask (insert crush) then you MUSTN'T look like an idiot

But I fucked up

Back in highschool though I was really fucking good at asking people out

But the people I asked out before didn't look like a god so there's a big difference

Meaning

Don't come at me for being an idiot

I bet you're wondering what I mean by being an idiot

And well, I kinda am stalling so I'll just get it over with

When I was face to face with the guy-

Wait, scratch that

He was a bit taller than me so it wasn't technically face to face

But anyway

I sorta just stared while he was talking about the dorm or something

Which is mistake #1

And I didn't really know what he was talking about because my mind would rather pay attention to how hot his voice sounded

That'd be my second mistake

I should probably stop keeping track of my mistakes before I feel like a bigger dumbass

After all that shit happened and he was unpacking I decided to go to the bathroom to calm down while James talks his ear off

Which is where I am now

I'll stop for now, I gotta get out of the bathroom

Pray that things go well for me, will ya?


	2. Don't get distracted by their smile

Hey, I'm back

"How did things go?" You might ask

Terrible, very terrible in fact that I may not want to share another embarrassing encounter with you all

But I will do so anyway for the sake of the book even though my sad, lonesome heart aches at my awful screw up and wouldn't want to rethink the moment I had

Call me dramatic all you want but I will NOT let this shit go

I can't function right in front of him

I don't even know his fucking name 

I'm a disaster

Yeah I know, I'm stalling again

I'll more than likely do it a lot while writing this

Let's get on with my short tale

So there I was, casually walking out the bathroom

The cute guy, James and Peter are all just talking about-

Well, my mind was elsewhere at the time so I couldn't care less about their conversation

Then I heard James say my name

Turns out he was talking about the last crazy adventure we went on

I decided that now was my chance to start a conversation with this guy since because the conversation was starting to die

So I moved closer and introduced myself

And when saying "Sirius" the "I" in my name fucking cracked

FUCKING CRACKED!!

What the fuck even happened

Ugh, I'm so embarrassed

Instantly I felt my face heat up but I continued despite my humiliation

He said his name but I didn't quite catch it because for the millionth time I couldn't think straight

Who am I kidding, I never think straight

I'm gay

Anywho

He wore this ADORABLE smile that made my heart do back flips and I just sorta had another gay panic

He also noticed that I wasn't paying attention to a word he was saying so he said my name

That didn't help much at all because he said my name

I like the way he said my name

But this just lead to a bigger gay panic

His voice is h o t

Hearing his voice gives my stomach butterflies

I swear I nearly fainted when he said my name

Finally some sense was slapped into me and I snapped out of it

I acted like I'd forgotten something and left to just get out of there

It was incredibly awkward and I hate myself

I don't know if I'll be able to survive

If you don't hear from me soon, send help


	3. Don't get t̶u̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶̶o̶n̶ distracted by their "morning voice"

I'm back, believe it or not

I slept pretty shitty last night because I couldn't stop thinking about Remus

Luckily I've made somewhat good progress

Because now I know cute guys name

I've already said Remus but I'll say Remus again because Remus is a really cute name and Remus really suits cute guy

oh my god

I don't think I mentioned his freckles

Damn I'm an idiot

SO REMUS HAS FRECKLES

AND NOT JUST A HANDFUL BUT A WHOLE LOT

HIS FACE IS LITTERED WITH THEM AND THEY'RE SO CUTE

AHHH I'M IN LOVE

On a different note

If you'd weight out the success from the failure in my situation, the failure outweighs the success

This simply means that I've made another mistake

I woke up to James hitting me in the face with a pillow and literally had to get dragged out of bed

I was obviously in a bad mood

Then James went to wake up everyone else

I walked over to the drawer only to find that none of my things were in it

There was a lot of big, baggy sweaters

I figured it was Remus' sweaters

He was wearing one yesterday so it made sense

That's another super cute thing about Remus

While I was wondering how I'd look in his sweater I heard someone say: "excuse me"

And that someone was Remus

His voice was a bit groggy from sleep which made his voice sound even hotter

He's not only cute

But he's hot too

What a guy he is

I blushed (just a tad) and moved out of the way, ignoring James because he was giving me a look

He probably knows which is bad

My life is over

Things are just getting worse by the minute

What did I ever do to deserve this

You're right

I did nothing

I'm just going to live life and hope things get better

But they won't

Welp. See ya, stranger


	4. Don't give them a compliment you'll regret giving

Welcome to: 

✨Sirius fucks everything up✨

In where a dumbass makes many mistakes in front of his crush

Yeah I know, what a way to start

I said something you SHOULDN'T say in front of your crush

Even if you think the sweaters they wear are adorable, you shouldn't tell them that out loud

But I did

And I've weirded him out

I should start at the beginning 

We were all hanging out in the dorms, just spending quality time together

And then Remus comes to join us

He didn't sit right beside me but was still near

Then my eyes wandered to his sweater and I think "that's a cute sweater"

Only, I didn't think it like I thought I did

I said it out loud

While looking RIGHT AT HIM

When Remus heard me say this he blinked

And after a minute or so passed he said "thanks"

Then around five minutes later he said he had to do something and left

As soon as he did James gave me a "knowing look" 

So in return I held up my middle finger and ignored his quiet huff and "that's rude," remark

We just awkwardly sat there while watching Incredible's

I couldn't really focus on the movie though

I spaced out during most of it

When it was almost over I noticed that Remus had been gone for a while

About over and hour or so

I probably scared him off

He's not going to come back now and it's all my damned fault

Or so I thought

At the time I felt awful and assumed the worse and I'm sure you all know how that is

Because just as the movie ended he came back with some books

And I thought, for real this time "so now he's a nerd that wears baggy sweaters and apparently likes reading"

How cute can this guy get?!

Ugh

I should stop here, I have things that need to get done

That's a wrap on: ✨Sirius fucks everything up ✨

Tune in next time


	5. Don't walk in on them while they're changing

I bet when you read the title you thought something along the lines of: "oh my god, Sirius"

I did too when actually living the moment

Before you ask

No he wasn't naked

He was just half naked

I saw Remus' bare fucking chest

That was one of the hottest things I've ever seen

Is it bad that I can't stop thinking about it?

ANYGAY

FUCK

ANYWAY

This morning after I got ready and left the dorm I had forgotten to grab my phone

So I told James and Peter I'd catch up with them in a few minutes

Remus had woken up later so he was finishing on getting himself ready

James would've woken him up but the last time he woke up Remus early, he was pissed

He's scary when he's mad

But also hot

So that is why Remus woke up later

I went in the dorm, not thinking to knock and as soon as the door swung open

I froze completely

Right there was Remus' bare back

He was bent over to grab something from the drawer and spun around quickly when hearing the door open

That's when I saw his chest

My face heated up and I was a losos for words

I couldn't manage saying a single word when seeing it

Remus looked a little flustered and pulled on a sweater which is when I finally looked away

I mumbled an apology and grabbed my phone

After that I left

He didn't say a word to me during that

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing

I'm leaning more towards it being a bad thing

When I caught up with James and Peter, James asked why I was blushing and made a dumb remark

So I kicked his shin

Now he's pissed with me

But it's his fault

Not really sure how I'm going to live past this but oh well


	6. Don't fall on them

Making yourself purposely fall in front of your crush may seem like a good thing

Cuz, you know, if you're lucky they'll catch you

And you get to say "Looks like I fell for ya"

But it can go terribly wrong

No I wasn't trying to commit this

But just thought I'd let you all know on how a move like that could backfire

I blame James for this to even happen to me

HE had his stupid bag laying on the ground for me trip over

So it's all his fault

You know, there really needs to be a story about this all without me getting embarrassed

Unfortunately, my luck seems to be draining

So that's fucking fantastic

Remus didn't seem to be bothered by the incident from earlier

(Which involves me walking in on him)

He was just reading like the cute nerd he is

Then he gets up to grab his tea

Did I mention he drinks tea?

I don't remember if I did or not

But he does and I also find that cute

He got up to grab it which is when I was going to grab my leather jacket which was laying on the couch where he was reading

There was a bag in my path 

So when the two of us were near each other

I fucking tripped over the bag 

And I brought Remus down with me

And well, fell on top of him

Good thing he didn't have his tea yet though

The bad thing is

I was fucking on top of him

Making me once again, embarrassed

And I tried getting up as quick as I could and had my hand somewhere that my hand shouldn't have been 

Before you say anything, I meant to push myself up

But nooo

I had my hand on his crotch by accident while trying to push myself up

And well, you get what happened after

I apologized

Got up and tried to stop blushing (which is impossible)

And left 

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find James


	7. Don't starve at them (you'll look like a creep)

Was I staring at Remus while he was reading?

Maaaybe

Did he notice?

Yes, yes he did

I couldn't help it

He was just sitting there, looking all cozy

Holding his book in his hands

His expressions changing as he sunk deeper into the book

It made my heart feel all fluttery by just watching him

Then he noticed me and looked up from his book

And looked me with those gorgeous eyes of his

And said my name again

So I smiled like a dork and said: "yeah?"

And he asked if I needed something

I pulled a fucking James

Then I snapped out of it, getting embarrassed again and shook my head

So he went back to reading

That boy will be the death of me

Okay

I have a plan

Instead of being a blushing mess around Remus I'm going to man up and ask him out

But should I ask him out?

Maybe just try and work on a friendship?

But then again, what if that just makes things worse?

What would I say if I'm trying to be his friend then he catches me staring at his ass later

That wouldn't look good

And I don't know what excuse I'd make

"Sorry but I enjoy admiring your nice ass."

Can we pretend I didn't put that

I'm starting to get embarrassed

Letsmoveonfromthis

Maybe instead I'll work on getting less flustered around him

It's starting to ruin my reputation

I'm known to be a punk rock motherfucker

A badass

A hot one I shall add

Not this dorky gay guy who can't do anything right in front of his crush

Starting now, things will change

I am determined to get a date

I'm irresistible aren't I?

So he can't say no

If he does though I'll die

If I do die then let Remus know that I love him so fucking much even though he'd be the reason I died cause he rejected me

And tell James that he's in charge of planning my funeral

I'm counting on you


	8. Don't use a pick-up line

I made another mistake but this time I didn't make an excuse to leave the room

So that's good!

I also used a pick up line

And that's bad

I made myself look presentable

Not that I'm not presentable all the time but I just needed to look even better

I had my leather jacket on

My ripped jeans and combat boots

And a confident expression as I went up to Remus

He was talking to James' redheaded girlfriend Lily who somehow became friends with Remus

I pretended that Lily wasn't there and when I had Remus' attention I'd said

"I thought happiness started with an H but mine starts with U"

After saying it I realized how cheesy that sounded and internally started panicking

Remus didn't seem to know what to say which made me feel ten times worse

Then Lily rolls her eyes and says: "That was almost dorkier than James"

I was about to snap at her but she continued her conversation with Remus about some dumb book

I wanted to yell at her but I couldn't start a scene in front of Remus

All I fucking got from that was eye contact from him

Maybe I just flustered him?

Or he didn't understand the pickup line

I don't see how you couldn't understand that

Plus, Remus is smart

Afterwards

I stormed off and went to the dorms to weep

And changed into something comfortable and snuggled up in a blanket on the couch while eating ice cream

I spaced out and just stared at the blank TV screen for a while

Then I started plotting what else I should do to win Remus' heart without looking like a fool

So far I had nothing

Suddenly James came in and sat beside me

He asked why I was being moody then asked if he could have some ice cream too

I said no and then told him I was fine but he wasn't buying it

So he starts asking on what's been bothering me

I had a feeling he already knew and didn't want to say anything to him 

He wouldn't let it go

So-

Wait

I should wait to tell you

Why?

To annoy you all of course!

I'll let you know what happened next time so you better be there


	9. Don't admit you like them to James

Welcome back!

Let's continue

We left out on James being an asshole

I actually admitted that I had a thing for Remus

And James fucking squealed

I nearly fell of the damn couch because of how unexpected it was

He looked waaay too happy about this

He was telling me how he knew about this as soon as I first met Remus

Then Peter had walked in and asked what was going on

So James explains and Peter says: "You know, that actually makes sense"

That's when I decided I was done with their bullshit and locked myself in the bathroom

James was right by the door, trying to get me to come out

Probably so we could discuss the situation further

And I heard the TV turn on so it seemed that Peter didn't know what to do about the situation

I could tell James was still there cause I could see his shadow under the door

I yelled at him to go the fuck away

Knowing that this wouldn't work but I was pissed

Then I kicked the door

Sat away from the door

And had my back turned from the door

James eventually gave up and told me I didn't have to be embarrassed

He believed he could help me

Does he forget how long it took him to get a girlfriend?

I'm guessing he did or he wouldn't have even bothered

Came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and there he was

Remus.

He looked like he wanted to talk but that was the last thing I needed

He'd bring up what happened earlier

I can't deal with that at all

Thankfully James isn't all bad and made an excuse 

Saying the two of us had plans

Which is when both of us left

Then I realized that the partial reason James made the excuse was so he could talk about helping me get together with Remus

Boy, did I walk into that

I had given in anyway

And now James knows

He's also been questioning what this book is so I better be careful


	10. Don't show that you're jealous

Some bitch was flirting with Remus and I want to kill her

Remus was obviously trying to read and she comes up with a dumb grin and starts a conversation with him 

Peter was right beside me asking if I stole candy from his stash under his bed

Truth be told, I have been for a while

I'd grab bit by bit over time so he wouldn't accuse me of doing it

This time I grabbed a couple of handfuls because I was sad and needed something sweet

I lied though and told him no

Then brought my attention back to Remus and that fucking asshole

God I was pissed

She moved closer to Remus who looked uncomfortable

Remus tried to get her to go the fuck away

But she just kept going at it

I grinned when seeing that he was starting to get pissed with her himself

He stood up to leave but there she was

She even tried giving him her phone number while Remus was trying to get away

Poor Remus doesn't deserve a creep like that

He deserves someone like me who won't annoy the shit out of him

Or be pushy and demanding

If he were with me I would be the best boyfriend ever 

You know, when we get together I could write a book about how to be a good boyfriend

It'll help loads of people

We're getting off topic 

I was fed up with this girls bullshit so I yelled: "He isn't fucking interested."

That made her finally fuck off

That dumbass assumed I was jealous of Remus cause then she tried flirting with me

Which is why I said: "Save your breath, I'm gay." Then left

Not sure where Peter had went after all that

Maybe he got hungry or something

In the dorms Remus had thanked me with a cute smile and I felt all warm and shit

Things are slowly starting to work out


End file.
